I want to grow up once again ….
When I was a kid studying in school, I always looked forward to going to school: every June meant
new uniforms, new water bottles, tiffin boxes, typical fragrance of the
unopened new books, wrapping cover to new books. Completing homework and chatting with friends
in lectures, and after getting caught saying some false things to teacher. Always doing crazy stuff in free lectures, while teachers bored
me to death, looking outside the window and seeing mama ring the bell
and getting high on it, biting off nails
just before a surprise check, fumbling big time while speaking in front
of the entire assembly, feigning that I am not feeling well when I had
forgotten to do something which the teacher had asked me to do and
getting her sympathy instead of the howlers… In these heaps of memories,
I distinctly remember this teacher telling us, “live your life my children…live your life… It is your time right now… In school,
everybody knows you…you have an identity for yourself, you are unique in
your own ways…it is only going to happen in school…live your life…"
Crazy that I was, I always looked forward to college life… hanging out with
friends on college katta, bunking lectures, overuse of cell phones,
"crushes"… the genre of books changed from harry potter,
to that thing called love, notebook… yes, I had lost my identity, yes I
was but a roll no 44 of class C, FC, 2006 batch.
Professors and seniors kept telling us, “live your life people… this is
now…make the most of it….what you are seeing right now is but a virtual
image, a mirage of the actual world…whilst you are living this protected
life, live it enjoy it” but, how stupid I was! I kept saying, growing up is fun…I wonder why
these people keep saying this… I want to have a job, earn a living, come
out of this protective shell of my parents and take that flight of
independence
And here I am today… again I have
achieved that…but my life somehow revolves around the words TGIF and
after Monday and Tuesday comes WTF, my bank account is happy but as they
say no gains without pains...My recognition is my employee id… I forget
it and I am not allowed to go in the premises where I am spending
majority of my time these days… Number of people knowing me as a person
can be counted on finger tips… In this vast expanse, I have lost me, I
have lost self… It is like being a waiter in hotel… your presence is
mandatory and yet nobody takes notice of you… Everybody around me has
started gearing up for the next phase of life…they have started grooming
themselves to take up the responsibilities of life and here I am
stranded somewhere in between…new horizons beckon me and yet I wish, I could be with friends in college canteen having that breakfast, I so wish I could relive those
preparatory leaves again… I have made the mistake of wanting to live the
future before… I don’t want to repeat it… I don’t want to lose me… I
want to nurture me...I want a time turner…I want it to halt if not turn
back…I want a stop clock that stops time and not measures it...I want
that sunshine, I want those rains, I want that another chance, I want to
grow up once again...
(Note : this is an edited version of an article written by my friend.)
